Distractions & musings

I’m am nearly a week late on the sometimes-even-more-than-weekly life update post. Why, oh, why?

WELL. THERE’S A STORY.

Ha. Not really. I’m late because a lot of things going on around the house–literally around the house–have consumed all my attention & energy.

It’s really hard to concentrate on a computer screen when people are driving bobcat tractors back & forth past your window, hammering on bricks, cutting masonry with Big Saws, laying brick, digging Big Holes in the ground, and otherwise doing fascinating things involving precision craftsmanship coupled with tons of brute force.

Here are some pictures of the wondrous yard & driveway progress! Nothing is done, but after months of things sitting idle half-done, it’s exciting to see daily progress. Next up, getting the drainage improvements finalized and the excavations filled in. Then the walkways, & patio edges get their finishing touches & the lawn areas get new grass.

And then PLANTING can begin in all the yard zones. So excite. Here are some fun pictures of the progress so far.

I’ll take better pictures and do true Before & afters when things are truly in “After” shape.

I thought I might miss the screen house, but after seeing how much rotted wood there was in the walls & under the shingles–and how much plantable area its removal created– I think I’mma be JUST FINE with hanging out on the new patio instead.

Anyway. Watching the yard progress inspired me to deal with my languishing indoor plants, and that led to buying plants for my outdoor planters, and THAT led to tackling a bunch of small but highly-satisfying house projects I expected to tackle last summer. Plus I have made solid, if plodding progress on the Ghost Town draft and mulled over several “what’s next after THAT’s done?” projects. Time. There’s just never enough of it.

Honorable mention goes to all the time I spent enjoying the luxurious freedom of taking my time wandering the aisles of the garden center and the hardware store and IKEA without worrying about exposure.

ANYway. So it’s been a physically busy, highly distracting couple of weeks full of good and happy things. And if I’m honest with myself & the world, that happiness is exactly why I fell into blog-avoidance mode.

Introspection time. I have this emotional tipping point where the more I’m enjoying myself, the less I want to admit it to anyone, and I passed it last week. Yes, not wanting to share joy is illogical and unhelpful and maybe paradoxical, and I’m excellent at sharing things I love with others–but not experiences.

See, sharing how happy I feel about happenings in my life means leaving myself open to spomeone reacting negatively to the share. Since I feel rejection in many situations where other people don’t and since I feel it PHYSICALLY in ways others don’t, it’s always tempting to avoid that risk–even when I know, intellectually, there’s no reason for fear.

The rejection sensitivity aspect of ADHD really sucks. There’s no rationalizing it away. There’s no arguing with it. There’s only catching myself when I fall into the avoidance trap and climbing back out into the light again.

So. Here I am in the sunshine. Blog post accomplished!

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That’s all the all for now. Until next time.

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