This is what I posted on my Facebook and G+ account today, after a morning spent pacing around the house, distracting myself with news articles and generally avoiding my own emotional state:
“Ever feel like everything you say either offends someone, aggravates them or results in you being contradicted, dismissed and diminished? No? Huh. That’s been my entire week. Every attempt at real-world socializing has convinced me that I am indeed as dull, overbearing and deserving of avoidance as I have suspected since I was eleven.
Yes, I know exactly how uncomfortable it can be to read crap like this on social media. I’ll flush it away presently. I just wanted there to be an explanation on file in the unlikely event that anyone wondered why I’m offline and unresponsive for however long I feel like hiding.
And now, back to the regularly scheduled funny-pet-photos, game updates and food porn.”
So, there it is. We’ll see how long I last before the urge to surf back through FB becomes overwhelming. I sense it will be…oh, heck. I already want to peek. I won’t, but I won’t pretend I don’t feel the pull.
There are better things to do. I shall cruise Cracked and Tumblr and Buzzfeed and laugh alone. I will trim shrubs in the yard whose beautiful flowers no one but my husband and my neighbor ever sees in person. I will read books on the porch swing that is never used by anyone but me. I will pet the cat, who, unlike me, feels no discomfort over his preference for solitude and who cares not in the least whether others desire his prickly company.
I may even bake something, because baked goods cure all ills.
I will play in my imaginary world where analyzing the constant interplay of words and tone and body language of characters is an intellectual exercise and not a high-stakes social roller coaster. There is a sweet appeal to a reality in which emotional conflict can be resolved with rewrites.